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Grand, The

The Grand boasts three floors of trash and tack, six VIP boxes with their own mini-bars and a private balcony for you to hire. It also has the biggest flashing dancefloor in London. Can we leave it there or would you like us to elaborate? OK, entry don't come cheap and you have to have had a skinful to enjoy it, but there's a rare kind of pleasure in a place like this. Music is girl's night out/boy's on the pull paradise, the crowd are pretty, successful and smiley and the aim of the game is fun. If you can't have a good time here when you're drunk, you should give up and go to bed.

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