August events in London

August is a perilous month. People who work in non-air-conditioned offices live in constant danger of sweaty-palm laptop electrocution, while their ice-boxed counterparts could easily lose an eye to the razor-sharp nipples of a chilly colleague. Lifts, in particular, have become like iron maidens (the medieval torture devices, not groupies of the geriatric heavy metal band).

Never ones to be cowed by the dangers of the season though, Itchy will be boldly soldiering on, and making the most of the summeriest month.

To start off, we'll be rolling up our trouser-legs for the latest urban beach, at the big metal feet of the London Eye. With deckchairs, ice cream, Pimms o'clock between 5.30pm–7.30pm and traditional beach games like quoits, all we need is a sandball fight with the local scally kids and it'd feel like all those childhood summers spent at Southend. The beach'll be sticking around at the Eye 'til 26th Aug, and probably much longer in the toes of our shoes

Another exciting day out in the offing is the Field Day festival on the 9th Aug. With Foals, Mystery Jets and Simian Mobile Disco headlining and about a gazillion bands we've never even heard of to check out, we'll be rocking around Victoria Park like the proverbial blue-ass-shaking flies.

Once the blood has returned to our over-shaken bums and they're a healthy enough colour to consider sitting upon, we'll be heading to Whitechapel for Don't Feed The Poets on 14th Aug (for other upcoming events check out www.whitechapel.org). It's a free night of performance poetry and other 'eclectic' (read 'bizarre') entertainment.

In fact, we're really getting into our alternative arts at the moment. Another potentially amazing offering for the month comes in the form of an audio-visual rollercoaster ride with Addictive TV. On Fri 22nd Aug they'll be projecting their award-winning VJ set (that's video jockey rather than disc jockey) on to the massive 25-metre flytower of the National Theatre. Worth a squizz, we think, especially since it's free, but arrive well before the 10pm start time if you want to be close enough to hear as well as see.

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